Instacare

After our little date night my back started to REALLY hurt. I'm not talking some annoying ache now people this is the real pain stuff. Sunday morning I woke up and tried to get out of bed and into the bathroom to make Brooklyn a bottle as she was starting to stir and wake up. Zachary was out helping his patients like normal on the weekends. Getting out of bed was an IMPOSSIBLE task. I finally fell to the floor in tears. It took everything in me to crawl, yes I slowly crawled, to the bathroom. Right before I got to the door (mind you the bed and the bathroom door are like 5 steps away from each other) I realized I didn't even grab the bottle. Yes I cried with tears rolling down my face. I have a pretty high pain tolerance but I felt SO WEAK at this moment. This pain was FAR WORSE then getting up after my csection for the first time just two months prior (old picture taken from when we first moved in, instead of the toddler bed we have a rocking chair there (plus lots more decor)).

I continued to crawl on into the bathroom and managed to pull myself up onto the toilet seat. Between trying to get up out of bed and into the bathroom it was a half hour. I knew I had to go back and get the bottle for Brooklyn so with every ounce of  strength I had left I started my way back towards the bed. I only made it to the rocking chair (between the bed and bathroom door) before realizing how much I have failed as a mother. What kind of mother can't even make a bottle for her baby (yes these were my thoughts)? Thank goodness I live next door to my parents. I called my wonderful mother in tears. "Mom I can't make a bottle". I don't think she could even understand what I was saying but my mother jumped and came over to my rescue. Helped me back into bed and then took Brooklyn out to the couch, changed her, fed her and took care of her until Zach was home. My Mom wins the best mother award (enjoy random photo of my mother I found)!

When Zach arrived home, surprised to find my Mom on the couch with the kids he came in to check on me. I decided to try and get out of bed again. After 15 minutes of me trying to walk to the bathroom again and only making it as far as the foot of the bed, yes in tears again, he picked me up and took me into the bathroom. Zach convinced me that we should go to the doctor because being in this much pain for me is a concern for sure. I got dressed and presentable while sitting in the bathroom and Zachary helping me, greatest husband award! While I sat and mentally prepared myself for the stairs I would have to climb and walking out to the car, Zach quickly drive Andie to church. She loves her big girl primary class and didn't want to miss it. When Zach arrived back home we left for the doctor while my Mom stayed behind to watch Jake and Brooklyn.

At the Instacare of course it was an hour wait so what did Zach and I do? We watched funny YouTube videos of course, I had to try and get my mind off the pain but laughing hurt too! We finally were taken back and placed in a room where I attempted to change into a gown. The doctor came in and asked what was wrong. I stated I was having terrible LOWER back pain, how I can't take care of my baby, crawling to the bathroom, etc. This is the part where I realize how much I HATE going to the doctors. He had me stand up and he pushed on the top of my back, does this hurt? No. He pushed on the middle of my back, does this hurt? No. He pushed on the bottom of my back, does this hurt? Me almost in tears, YES (hence I came in for lower back pain, selfie of me trying to smile through my pain and tear swelled eyes haha). 

Okay well I don't think there is anything wrong maybe a pulled muscle so we will give you a toradal shot, it's the stuff we give athletes so it's good, and two prescriptions for pain meds. Okay doctor fine but what am I supposed to do when this doesn't work? Oh this will work, it's stuff they give athletes and what do athletes want most? To be able to get back at there. Doctor have you met a mother before? Mothers will do anything to "get back out there" and take care of their kids. You obviously don't realize how much a mother would do to tend to her children but I couldn't do that because this is not just a pulled muscle it's got to be something more. But nope, I was treated like I was there to get my drug fix and sent on my way. By the way the shot never worked doctor and the pain meds barely nudged the pain!

So now I wait in pain for a week and a half while I try to continue my daily activities just like the doctor ordered. Can I cry again?